


What's a Farm?

by Kamala_Reyes



Category: DCU
Genre: Gen, Other, i know nothing about farms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 13:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamala_Reyes/pseuds/Kamala_Reyes
Summary: Prompt for the MS Paint Bang. Bruce Wayne has no idea how a farm works, and he has no desire to but damnit he's gotta pay a visit to the Kents sooner or later at their... farm.





	What's a Farm?

It starts to rain, it starts to rain hard and fast and Bruce glares at the sky as if it has personally flipped him off, and honestly? It might as well have, because he is drenched in seconds and he doesn’t have an umbrella and the Kent home is a ways away, how big even is this farm, with the only shelter being a large wooden building that’s triangular shaped. The sides have been kind of rounded off so it looks like the top half of an almond that been chopped in half, it’s even brown. Bruce makes towards it as Clark starts, well- it looks like he’s waving his arms at cows? He doesn’t know, he’s never been on a farm, maybe it’s some weird farm boy dance to commune with the cows but like hell he’s staying out here to watch… even if it is kind of funny. Bruce makes to the building in a hurry, and that’s his fatal mistake because in his rush he steps on something that immediately makes him slip. 

 

Bruce is a master of most known martial arts, he’s got balance to spare, he can be punched in the face and turn that around to suplex his attackers. He has taken down countless of criminals, he’s gone toe to toe with Superman and lived, he’s had gymnastics classes with Dick and Barbara (he’s not embarrassed about it and the kids have taught him a thing or two), and he regularly climbs tall building and flings himself off them... and yet none of that prepares him for this. As he twists his body to try and get reorientated he realizes a few things with first being that his shoes have no grip (they’re Gucci), second is that this place has no concrete, and third being that he didn’t bring a spare change of clothes because he’s an idiot. 

 

His hands meet wet earth and find no purchase so they slide and he promptly lands face first into the mud. Bruce hates all this life choices and he hates Clark Kent and his stupid farm. Things are not made better as he hears a choked off noise and as he gets up and looks forward, sure enough, Clark has a hand slapped over his mouth but his shaking shoulders reveal that he is indeed laughing at him. Glaring, Bruce wipes the mud off his face and stomps his way to the building, carefully, and doesn’t wait for stupid farm boy and his stupid cows. 

 

Carefully he tugs off his coat, ruined, and looks around. Sure enough, there's a small stack of lines by a cubbyhole shelf and he grabs one to wipe himself free of mud. It’s very warm inside, probably because of the all the hay, and he grits his teeth as he tries not to shiver in his damp mud drenched clothes. Yeah, he’s has been stranded in the desert once upon a time (ok many times) and he’s endured the harshest climates but goddamn there's a reason he doesn’t live in a place with no central heating or mud everywhere! He can hear a few moos and some cowbells coming nearer and the thought of being next to wet stinky cows is definitely something he does not want right now, so he takes his wet coat and makes to the ladder he spotted when he came in. Up there he kicks his shoes off, setting them far away, and takes his shirt off. The undershirt underneath is thankfully dry. 

 

Bruce sits and watches as the wooden doors open and Clark steps in with a small following of cows. The huge creatures shuffle in slowing, their low moos filling the room with noise and the smell of … it’s almost like a wet dog smell. 

 

“Come on girls, in you go,” Clark says as he gently pushes them in, or at least it looks gentle but for all he knows Clark could be using his strength to literally shove them in. 

 

He watches as Clark checks each one over and then gives them all an affectionate pat before he finally looks up at him. There’s the slightest twitch but Bruce catches it as Clark ducks his head, Clark had been surprised. 

 

“Mind if a join you up there,” Clark asks as he stuffs his hands into his jean pockets. 

 

Bruce narrows his eyes. 

 

“It’s your barn,” he answers. 

 

“It’s not a barn,” Clark answers and finally lifts his head up, eyes clearly amused as his mouth tugs into a grin, “this is a hayloft.”

 

“What,” Bruce asks and Clark breaks out into laughter. 

 

“Never been to farm huh,” Clark responds and his grin is almost shining. Bruce heart picks up, he shuts that shit down. 

 

“Can’t say I have,” Bruce says and then scratches at his feet. Hay is itchy. 

 

“You don’t say,” Clark answers and the corresponding glare is met with a smirk. 

 

“Are you coming up or not,” Bruce snaps and Clark chuckles even as he goes to the ladder and clambers up.

**Author's Note:**

> ComposerofDiscord made an amazing follow up [here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/mspaintbang/works/12295338)


End file.
